News Release
"This century, I resolve to…"
How to Make Effective, Realistic New Millennium Resolutions
You know the drill. Every new year, we make a list of all the things we’re going to do to make ourselves look better, feel better or act like a better person. "Traditionally, people have used the New Year as a catalyst to reinvent themselves – to change all of those things they are dissatisfied with and prompt them to do all of those things they’ve only been thinking about," said Richard Weiner, PhD, Clinical Director of Friends Professional Associates (FPA). "The New Year gives people hope that they can make a fresh start."
Imagine the pressure to come up with and keep your resolutions for the millennium!
"Next to Y2K, new millennium resolutions have to be at the front of many people’s minds. There will be a lot of pressure to make the year 2000 and the 21st century the time to fix all of our faults and weaknesses," Weiner said.
However, Weiner warns that resolutions are easier made than done. "If you’ve ever made a New Year’s resolution on January 1 and abandoned it on January 2, you understand how hard it is for human beings to change," Weiner said. "Our habits are something we can count on and they give us a sense of certainty about life. Attempting to break a bad habit or acquire a new one, even if it’s for the better, can make us feel uncomfortable and lead us back to the familiar."
To achieve effective, realistic resolutions, Weiner makes the following suggestions:
Take One Small Step
Thinking about the work involved in changing a habit can stop us before we start. Instead of picturing the project as overwhelming, remember that change happens with that first small step. It is with the accumulation of all those little steps that you’ll reach your goal.
The Key To Change
Habits take time to acquire and it takes some time to revise, eliminate or add new habits. The key to behavior change is to define exactly the behavior you want to change, set realistic goals to change it, take small steps toward those goals and reward yourself for every movement toward change.
Be Specific
The statement "I want to get some exercise" is a start toward defining the behavior change, but doesn’t set forth exactly how you’re going to accomplish it. Saying "I will set aside 20 minutes on
Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings to take a walk" is a much more specific plan with a realistic goal. After one week of meeting your commitment, reward yourself with something you enjoy.
Record Your Progress
Another way to make habit change fun is to keep a diary and record your accomplishments, or post a chart on a wall where you can see what you’ve done. Also, show enthusiasm for what you’re doing. Before you know it, you will acquire positive habits and skills in place of old ones.
"One sure-fire way to make yourself feel better in the millennium is to develop good self-esteem," Weiner said. "If you value the type of person you are, you have a good sense of self-esteem and you’re proud to be you. You value your skills and talents, respect your own intelligence and act on your beliefs and feelings."
Weiner gives these tips about how to start improving your self-esteem:
Listen To Self-Talk
We all carry on a steady mental dialogue. Do you ever hear what you’re saying to yourself? Do you put yourself down or call yourself names? Learn to listen to the things you say about yourself, then replace that dialogue with positive images. Stop negative self-talk at the source to take the first step toward a more positive self-image.
Recognize Accomplishments
Make a list of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem to you. Maybe you won’t win a Nobel Prize, but your accomplishments have worth to you. By recognizing them, you can begin to understand that you are important and that you have self-worth.
Be Assertive
Learn to be assertive and to practice clear communication. Say what you mean and respect what others have to say. Remember that you have rights, too.
Be Tolerant
Be tolerant of yourself and others. Nobody’s perfect! Try not to criticize yourself or other people habitually and don’t expect others to criticize you. Recognize that a mistake is only a mistake and don’t dwell on it.
Know Good Friends
Spend time with people who value you. Listen to what they say about you. If others are constantly putting you down, you might want to reconsider those relationships. People you choose to be around are often mirrors of how you feel about yourself. You can find the best in yourself and others by expecting it.
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Revised: July 27, 2005